When we meet each other, as I know we will during the intermission, how shall I sum it up?

Each of the projects I have completed recently has been more successful than the previous one. Each failure, however, has been more painful than the previous one (with each, there is more to lose) and each success, a greater relief (with each, all is recovered all over again) though even as I think this, I think also that it was either impossible for me to fail and impossible for me to succeed to begin with, and all these efforts have done nothing but confirm the initial truth, that I am neither a success nor a failure, whichever way it really is.

LAWN CONCERT BY CHRISTINA YU 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 26