when ginsberg was reading howl my mother was having me

GINSBERGIANS STREAM ON BY ANNETTA DEXTER SAWYER 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 46

when ginsberg was reading howl my mother was having me both birthing in the

crust of our earth carved out bay area on the cusp of tectonic plate where

subterranean humanists surfaced like giants from the earth’s space in the form of

a collective conscience like a quake a beat generation surged in a pacifying wave

of spiritual soaking and this seeped deep deep into our soul the soul of our nation

howl howl how long do we pay tribute here is our ode

later many years later i stood next to my red retro samsonite luggage

set upon my american dream and so we howl still we howl suckled by our past

our poetry our politics i finally get to see a rockin chantin lap guitar playin allen

ginsberg still bearded but more bald more weight on his bones reminded me of a

chantin cantor i had never seen

rhythm of rabbi sound and still he howled

after the performance i found some of this beat generation partying at my home i

shared with a local poet laureate allen ginsberg in my living room gregory corso

peering over my shoulder poking his nose into my space breathing down my neck pestering me as i ate

my dinner when so many in the world went without

mommy

my children now howl and i saw nikki giovanni too and

maya maya angelou

and again years pass to what we’ve lost and what remains

still we howl

open throat head back

kiss

the

universe

commune

with

the

moon

kiss kiss

howl like the wind howl to the stars and beyond drink our voices in

may what we say reach into the outer limits of space drink in this humanist call to

consciousness this human nature riding in the saddle of the same wave length

howl to the universe and pattern of planets bounce off mountains of mars i know

this is true i’ve seen it on youtube again kiss lip to lip mouth to mouth tongue on tongue

howl to the stars and beyond howl humanity howl to understand humanity

howl to the other the self deep within the abyss of the other one’s self

howl to be deep within

howl

ANNETTA DEXTER SAWYER

A long time ago on a road trip from New Jersey to Vermont I paused to write a line: When Ginsberg was reading Howl my mother was birthing me… I told myself to remember those words & that one day maybe a piece of writing would come from them.

I really can’t say what caused me finally to go back after so many years, but once I did the words came in their own cadence just how the notion to connect the time & place of my birth merged into some wild, fantastic interdependence with those poets I listened to in college.

As a performance artist I’ve integrated spoken word together with movement. Since high school English & literature classes I’ve been drawn to the writing & delivery of the Beat Generation. I really did leave my home & family in Italy—headed out for my American Dream—with my guitar, portable typewriter (in those days) & red suitcase set in tow! By the time I wrote this piece I was teaching Fine Arts at Trinity College in DC (now Trinity Washington University) when our NAACP Chapter invited me to read some of my poetry. This is what I chose. That experience gave me courage to do my first open mike at the original Bus Boys & Poets Slam! My work in theatre, dance, visual art, or writing seems to echo some existential observation of myself & my place in this world sometimes connected, oftentimes seeing from the inside out or even the outside in—howling for our humanity.