The feeling of entrapment was real. So was the sense that I had failed myself, that I was not reliable, that there was no one to connect to—all of these thoughts felt so real.

I had felt so afraid and so out of control that I believed I needed someone to rescue me from the outside. Yet all the while, sitting inside the car, I had, within my reach, the power to free myself.

THE MANUAL LOCK BY JAN BERLFEIN BURNS 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 70

Three days before I left for China, my sister Eliana called and told me that she had ca…