That’ll get you the best sex of your life.

DOROTHY CHAN at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in Las Vegas. “I knew I had to pose that way—” she says, “it was like the hand of God just touched me.”

“Men want you to look like they dressed you in their clothes, like you just rolled out of bed, in a good way of course. That’ll get you the best sex of your life.”

FEMALE JESUS BY DOROTHY CHAN 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 29

I’ve never been in a tattoo parlor my entire life,

but the subject of my piece, “She”, as she likes to be called,

as vicars refer to God as “Him”, is getting a female-Jesus-on-the-cross

inked above her right breast. I watch her pull up her see-through

mesh-top: “You never wear a bra, do you?” I ask, while

gradually rethinking this morning’s “support decision”.

She’s subversive: this modern-day-fashion-icon that puts

Audrey Hepburn and Diana to shame—and a popstar

known for her drug habits and “baked selfies”.

She tells me that if she’s wearing a top, she doesn’t wear a bra,

but if she’s wearing a bra, then it’s just a bra if that.

I …