Rubber duckies are too bourgeoisie.

Jul 19, 2021

∙ Paid

The more photogenic half of an antique Vichyssois

aquamarine mannequin head

updates its inanimate facebook dot com status

—Resides in: marmoreal clawfoot tub in Carroll Gardens brownstone—

after being used as a bath toy

by a tabloid-famous toddler.

“Rubber duckies are too bourgeoisie”

written across its forehead

by the relative who purchased it

at a Sotheby’s auction.

The child’s name, Casus Belli: ostensibly

an anagram for the first words of a mnemonic device

his father had claimed to use

for remembering the lines of a Thoreau poem

he had silently recited to himself

in an effort to prolong his favorite activity

on the night of his son’s conception.

“I’m starting docent training tomorrow

at the New Museum for New Human Art Mavens

and have developed an uncanny infatuation

with the stained glass window designs

of the septuagenarian Matisse.

Goo goo gah gah.”

The child’s first words.

According to the article.

34MAG