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Like, sin insurance. So I don’t have to worry about Hell or anything.
34thparallel.substack.com

Like, sin insurance. So I don’t have to worry about Hell or anything.

34MAG
Jan 1, 2008
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It’s wrong to betray the trust of any loved one, if that’s what you’re asking.

SIN INSURANCE BY MICHAEL P FERRARI 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 02

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It’s been—shit, how long has it been?” “Excuse me??” he says, half-alarmed. Like he’s never heard somebody curse before.

“Eight weeks-ish? Yeah…it’s been about eight weeks since my last confession.”

“It’s been a bit longer than eight weeks, Ricky.”

“Crap.”

“Honestly! What the hell is the matter with you??”

“You didn’t think I’d recognize your voice?” There’s a laugh at the end of his sentence. A small one.

“What??”

“Have a shred of reverence, will ya??”

“Heh…I’m plenty reverent.”

“Well, no, not really.”

“’Plenty reverent’?? This is my church, Ricky!”

“Well, you’re a retard,” he reminds me. “What’s on your mind?”

“I think I kind of did something bad, but I don’t know if it’s bad, so I wanted to come here and pass it through you. You know, cover my bases.”

“Cover your bases?” he asks. His Irish accent is so thick that it …

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