I want to be like you. Another shot. Why don’t you love me? Shot.
If Eunae didn’t have such a fucking big mouth, and if she had just finished what she started, none of this would have happened.
TRIGGER HAPPY BY KAYLA BACKER 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 46
My mother’s lips part in a sharp inhale but her hand is firm as she drags the cheap Office Depot pen over the black line. “All right,” the officer drawls when my mother sets the pen back down, “you’re almost set.”
My mother put on more makeup than usual this morning and wore her favorite green blouse because “today is special” but I can’t find anything special standing here, leaning against the grey counter with this stuffy, narcissistic officer staring at me like I’m a crumb he’s just flicked off his uniform. He looks at me like he’s trying hard to be intimidating, but it’s difficult to be afraid of a man with a grease stain on his tie and a beer belly big enough to strain his shirt buttons. “Come here, son. Let’s get that off of you.”
I roll my eyes at “son” because people only ever say that when they want to feel smarter than someone else, but I bend down to lift the cuff of my left pant leg all the same. The thick black bracelet blinks back at me from around my white socks, and the officer kneels on the dingy tile floor, pulls out a metal key and pulls my foot to rest on his thigh. There’s a little click when he pushes the key into the bracelet, a pop, and then my ankle is free for the first time in four months. I thought I would feel good but all I feel is apathetic.
The officer pushes himself back to his feet and gives me another one of those looks. “Now let’s hope I don’t see you here again.”
I snort a “maybe” under my breath before Mom elbows me. “Yes, sir.”
I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. If Eunae didn’t have such a fucking big mouth, and if she had just finished what she started, none of this would have even happened.