You’re not dead until we stop. Get it?

See, I got a grant from the university that let me stop time at the instant each of you was about to die and bring you all here. So you’re not dead until we stop. Get it?

DEATH DOESN’T SUCK BY LEE GROSSMAN 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 88

A stage play in one scene.

Characters:

Elaine Plotz a graduate student in her early 20s.

Ivan Ilyich from The Death of Ivan Ilyich, wearing a nightshirt, circa 1870.

Randle P (Mac) McMurphy from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, wearing a hospital gown.

Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, wearing prison clothes, circa 1789.

Cordelia from King Lear, in rags.

Stage lights come up on the characters sitting on chairs in a circle. Stage left is a folding card table with a coffee urn, powdered creamer, and foam cups. On the wall is a sign that says TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. All the characters look dazed, confused, except for ELAINE, holding a clipboard, looking around at the others.

ELAINE: Everybody? Hi Everybody! I’m Elaine Plotz. I’m a g…