I guess I should note here I am lucky to have avoided something so fucked up that you can’t quite pull it into your mind.

Took it all away, he said, the pain, the memories, and it was ok to die like this. Better, actually.

RITUALS BY DONNA DALLAS 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 46

Right after attendance was taken in my second year of high school I would meet Vito, John, Roseanne, and Maria outside and we would walk to my house. I was a latchkey kid living with my Mom in Queens NY. We smoked pot, cigs, and listened to Zeppelin. We’d lay wasted on plastic covered sofas. At 2.45pm we would leave. I then walked to my Dad’s house to arrive promptly after the school day would have ended. I attempted to do homework but ended up staring into space high.

At some point John and Roseanne stopped going to school, even for attendance. Roseanne was pregnant. Maria, Vito, and I started going to Vito’s house most days.

One morning Vito’s mom decided to throw herself off the roof of the apartment building they lived in. As we walked up 114th street we saw her shoot off the roof like a ball. We ran up and only then realized it w…