Hey, I get it, man. You’re the water.

Sometimes it’s the stuff that looks weak that’s strongest because you don’t expect it.

TSUNAMI BY JEREMY GLAZER 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 13

He walked in just after the bell rang and, as we turned towards the door, we were stunned into silence for a second. Everyone stopped what they were doing. Then a low growl of pleasure passed through the room.

We couldn’t believe it. He was about five foot two and white. Now, small itself is bad enough for a substitute teacher. It might have been OK if he was some kind of brown and could speak Spanish to the vatos or talk black to the black kids. But this guy was white as chalk.

The only other option for a guy sub if you aren’t tall or brown is to be built like a brick. You know, one of those little guys with grapefruit shoulders who looks like he could tear the shit out of you. But this guy looked like he weighed about as much as my 12-year-old sister.

I almost felt sorry for him.

It was a special high school—and let’s be clear, special means fucked…