He wished he got things.

Up here on the hill there was only the sky sailing over the village. Clouds shredded and tore as he watched.

BORROWING THE HOUSE FOR THE WEEKEND BY DAVID BARNES 34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 08

Up here on the hill there was only the sky sailing over the village. Clouds shredded and tore as he watched. A sparrowhawk turned on the wind, its wings spread and angling, until suddenly it veered down towards the roofs.

‘You see that,’ she said, pointing. She’d been showing him where she went to school when she was little. That sort of thing. It had been three years now. On and off.

‘See what?’

‘The bridge over the railway line...’ She was looking where she was pointing but he didn’t. He watched her. Her face was pale, pinched and reddened by the cold. He wanted her as much as he always had.

‘...with the line of trees going up to it on both sides.’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s where I’d like to die,’ she said distantly.

She smiled. ‘Come on,’ and the moment was gone and she headed on up the track to the top of the hill.

‘You’re crazy,’ he said to himself and hurried after her.

The air was clear and the tractor ruts in the ground were frozen solid. His nose was so cold he couldn’t smell anything.

That afternoon, back in her parents’ house that they were borrowing for the weekend, she sat at the dining room table listening to the classical music on Radio 3. The house was small. One of a row built for railway workers in the 1900s.The rooms were narrow but the ceilings were high. The daylight came in off the hills through the windows at the back, bright and precise.

He wished he wasn’t so boring, so afraid to let go. He got a beer from the fridge to loosen up. He wished he got things.

‘Why do you wanna die under a bridge?’

‘Not under the bridge, on it.’ She looked at him from where she was sitting, close to the window.

‘It’s the trees. It feels... abandoned. Forgotten.’

‘And that’s where you want to be buried.’

‘Not buried. I’d just like to die there.’

‘Yep.’ He nodded to himself as though ticking a box and took a swig of beer.